


Le Crack!Fic

by jb_slasher



Category: Football RPF, Hockey RPF
Genre: Chelsea - Freeform, Crack, Gen, Ilves, O Captain! My Captain!, Tampere United
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-19
Updated: 2005-05-19
Packaged: 2017-11-10 07:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/463635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jb_slasher/pseuds/jb_slasher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which John Terry is accidentally signed up by a hockey team. Kind of. Well, not really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Le Crack!Fic

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the sentence "Chelsea are playing Dorchester Town in July." Most of this stuff was provided by A, I just transformed it into a fic.

So this one time the Blue Team that was Chelsea decided that a trip to Finland would be a rather different experience. Well, _might_ be. Rather different? Yes. In a good way? Hell no.

"This club rocks," John Terry announced after the game against Tampere United. And so it came to be that Terry transferred to Tampere United. Force decided to finally enter his army duty and thus they shared a flat, though Force only appeared during the weekend if at all.

Then one day, John Terry got lost. Apparently he entered the wrong dressing room and, well, he was never seen again. Well, in the Tampere United dressing room, that is. He entered the Ilves dressing room which was full of ice hockey players.

"Who the fuck is that?" asked Simo Vidgren.

"Nice ass."

John's eyebrow rose in suspicion.

"I mean... Nice ass. You my bitch," continued Perttu Lindgren.

That thought got no further. John Terry was second goaltender to Tuukka Rask. He insisted on being a goaltender, but since he wasn't really all that good... he sat on the bench in games.

Once Frank and Petr Cech came to see a game. At first Frank was all "I don't get it!" but soon he had been filled in by Cech. [Though Petr did get to remark: "What is so fucking hard about it?!"]

Frank got all snarky with Terry. "Mate, you _do_ realize you're second goalie to an eighteen-year old?" Terry didn't answer. "Fuckin' hell. At least I'm captain." Terry giggled. [Yes, he does _giggle_.] "So am I."

Yes, John Terry was made Captain - "People, just look at how they did in football last season with him as the captain!" - and he didn't mind "bench duty". Their team spirit was as glorious as ever, what with Terry himself inspiring the team and falling over on the ice on occasion, in practice _and_ in games.

Terry actually got to play in three games of which one was a playoff game. They lost 12-2. But they won the Canada Trophy anyway, with Rask in the goal and Terry as inspiration.

All's well that ends well. After the season, Terry asked Jose to take him back - to the _club_ , people - and of course Jose said "yes". "I've missed your insanity."


End file.
